I Miss You So Much

I often cry, when I realize you will never see me grow old and gray—you would have loved teasing me about my white strands of hair that are slowly popping up!!!

I miss you so much, when I rise in the morning to the sound of chirping birds outside my window and the gentle, morning sunlight filtering through the trees.

I forget what it was like to enjoy life fully, after enduring a Fourth of July celebration that now has no bang. Believe me—I tried…

I dismiss thoughts daily of what this life will never be, when I see your Marines continue forward—promotions, careers, love, marriage and children…

I do my best to not envy all the other happy MoMs, when photos appear that their Marines have finally made it home…

I ache to hold you close and shower you with kisses, when I gaze each day at your image in those well-earned dress blues.

I keep on going each and every mile, when inside, all I really want to do is quit—I’m so very tired…

I breathe deep again and again, when my pain is so much greater than words could ever describe.

I run and run and run and run, when the shadow of death tries to smother me from behind…

But I hear your calm voice play out inside my head, when I’m lost and confused and don’t know what to do.

And when I remember your tremendous example of mental and physical fortitude, I desire to be strong and tough and brave—Just like you.