I never could have imagined five years ago that I would be witnessing multitudes of friends, family, family of friends, and friends of my family experiencing so many of their own journeys through grief. I can scarcely take it in—it truly numbs my mind, and makes my heart ache. What is to be done to ease the pain?!!!

I think by this point, everyone knows someone who has gone home to Jesus during this past couple of years. I will not speculate as to why so many are leaving us, but it is alarming. And it hurts. And we miss them. And we still needed them!!!!!

Fear is not any kind of way that I desire to live… In fact, I do not think it can really even be considered “living” if one must do so in fear. Yet, I find myself falling into that mindset much more frequently than I would like to admit—always anticipating the worst will happen to this person or that person or even myself. The slightest thing can set my heart racing!!! It becomes tiresome—this never ending cycle of fear, to anger, to sadness, to peace again, to no fear, to no feeling, then back to fear again…

Life is incredibly unstable. Circumstances that surround us are extremely fragile—so temporary. Ironically, what is most real are those very things that we cannot touch, yet our lives are often patterned around that which we see, touch, taste and hear.

Spirit is real. God is real. Relationships with friends, family and neighbors are real. Conflict is real. Sorrow is real. Peace and joy can be real. Birth and Death are also real. And for some, dreams and visions are real…

How does one begin to process the grief and pain of the masses? In five years’ time, I have said goodbye to my precious daughter, Josie, my dear Aunt Cindy, both my Grandpa Joe and my Grandpa Bud, one of my dearest friends, Lori Hernandez, my Grandma Jan, and also our family dog of fourteen years, Marceau… Those are only some of my own personal losses; I cannot begin to enumerate the countless friends and family that are experiencing many of these same pains—loss of children, parents, spouse, grandparents, friends, and even beloved pets!!! The process of parting is never easy or straightforward.

Nothing rarely makes any sense, either. Engraved upon my Uncle Johnny’s gravestone is the sacred verse, “Thy will be done.” Though this does not provide many answers, it does give solace to trust that God’s will for me is ultimately the best plan for me…

Just like the trees, as we lean in, and look up, He strengthens our hearts. I have found no better way forward… We can do the round-about or reverse, but this only delays our peace and happiness today. Trusting that His will is inevitably the best plan can assist in reconciling that which is otherwise unreconcilable.

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