Not there yet…

At what point do you disconnect their phone lines….?

I don’t know, ‘cause I’m not there yet.

At what point do you unbox their belongings that were shipped home from overseas…?

I don’t know, ‘cause I’m not there yet.

At what point do you remove their shoes from where they sit on the shelf, gathering dust, by the front door—just where they left them…????

I don’t know, ‘cause I’m not there yet.

At what point do you finally decide on the perfect headstone designs that honor their lives well—down to the finest little details….?

I don’t know, ‘cause I’m not there yet.

At what point do you quit desperately clinging to every single person that ever meant anything significant to them…?

I don’t know, ‘cause I’m definitely not there yet!!!!

At what point do you begin your day with them in the back of your mind, instead of the forefront?

I don’t know, because I’m not there yet….

At what point do you stop living each and every minute, as though it were a race to get to the end—just so you can be with them again?

I don’t know, ‘cause I’m not there yet.

At what point do you accept that the rest of the world has moved on without them?

I don’t know, ‘cause I’m not there yet.

At what point do you not suddenly burst into random, heart-wrenching seizures that spring tears to your eyes—for no particular reason?!!!

I don’t know, ‘cause I’m not there yet!!!!

At what point do you quit reaching and straining your spiritual eyes and ears for the slightest sign or trace of them?

I do not know, because I am not there yet,

And at what point do you cease to speak their name—in nearly every conversation?!!!

I simply CANNOT know, because I am nowhere near there yet,

And pray that I never am.